(AP) - Scientists can now confirm the identity of "Jesus." Scientists confirm records of a birth indicate one person who is the "Jesus" foretold to return to the earth by "-tt-."
It is theorised that the "Jesus" walks among us in 2014 and has since his "Second Coming," as prophesied in another confirmed "Virgin Birth" circa 1969 to a woman by the name of "Anita Job" who is last known to have lived in the Queens section of NYC employed as a maid.
Anita Job gives birth to her son whom she names "Richard" after her employer where she lived in the crawl space of a Mr. Dick Puller's town home in Queens. Mr. Dick Puller denies all paternal responsibility saying to doctors that his maid of ten years never knew himself or another man and thus: "it is a virgin birth."
Doctors at the birth confirm the fact that Anita Job never knew a man before the birth and that birth documents show probes to her vaginal cavity, pap smears and the fact that Anita Job's hymen is in tact except for where her grown, birthed son leaves traces of his seed deposit identified as the same DNA as that of the "Jesus" ossuary discovered by archeologists.
Health staff are aghast at the sight of a bearded, grown man emerging from a vaginal cavity that the birth is kept a secret within the medical community until outside scientists divulge documentation of the birth through the Freedom of Placenta Act in 2014.
Scientists now theorise that the "Jesus" of the "1969 Virgin Birth" to "Anita Job" in Queens actually calls himself "Richard Puller" and lives in the SFO Area working as a maid cleaning toilets and offering healing services to others in the way of salves: collections of his fap and feces samples in a jar saying "it is good for what ails you. Be blessed, my child!"
Scientists also have evidence Richard Puller's salves miraculously heal meth addict extremities from sores and yellow teeth so DNA testing is performed on a salve that one meth addict by the name of "Judas Priest" is found with in his pockets by police near a Motel 6.
Richard Puller's magically healing salves that scientists confirm "is good for what ails a meth addict" and his soap box on Sundays ordering "heathens" in Opfo to church is thought by scientists and himself to be "Jesus Like" and thus: Richard Puller is "the Incarnate" prophesied of old in liturgy.
It is theorised that the "Jesus" walks among us in 2014 and has since his "Second Coming," as prophesied in another confirmed "Virgin Birth" circa 1969 to a woman by the name of "Anita Job" who is last known to have lived in the Queens section of NYC employed as a maid.
Anita Job gives birth to her son whom she names "Richard" after her employer where she lived in the crawl space of a Mr. Dick Puller's town home in Queens. Mr. Dick Puller denies all paternal responsibility saying to doctors that his maid of ten years never knew himself or another man and thus: "it is a virgin birth."
Doctors at the birth confirm the fact that Anita Job never knew a man before the birth and that birth documents show probes to her vaginal cavity, pap smears and the fact that Anita Job's hymen is in tact except for where her grown, birthed son leaves traces of his seed deposit identified as the same DNA as that of the "Jesus" ossuary discovered by archeologists.
Health staff are aghast at the sight of a bearded, grown man emerging from a vaginal cavity that the birth is kept a secret within the medical community until outside scientists divulge documentation of the birth through the Freedom of Placenta Act in 2014.
Scientists now theorise that the "Jesus" of the "1969 Virgin Birth" to "Anita Job" in Queens actually calls himself "Richard Puller" and lives in the SFO Area working as a maid cleaning toilets and offering healing services to others in the way of salves: collections of his fap and feces samples in a jar saying "it is good for what ails you. Be blessed, my child!"
Scientists also have evidence Richard Puller's salves miraculously heal meth addict extremities from sores and yellow teeth so DNA testing is performed on a salve that one meth addict by the name of "Judas Priest" is found with in his pockets by police near a Motel 6.
Richard Puller's magically healing salves that scientists confirm "is good for what ails a meth addict" and his soap box on Sundays ordering "heathens" in Opfo to church is thought by scientists and himself to be "Jesus Like" and thus: Richard Puller is "the Incarnate" prophesied of old in liturgy.
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