I saw a doctor once who told me that I "self-medicate" with beer when I told him at the appointment that I drink beer because it helps put me to sleep for the night without "nightmares."
Last night was a case in point. I paced the apartment for five minutes with racing thoughts about stressful events past and present thinking to commit suicide and not being able to fall asleep until I forced myself to lie down and then pray anything, but pray. I finally fell asleep after midnight beside my sleeping wife and dog in bed.
It has been three days without a beer this time and I can attest to the fact that stopping drinking no matter for three years, fourteen months or other attempts to stop (at behest of health professionals, family and friends) always ensues with "racing" thoughts and a flooded mind full of bad memories.
Beer numbs me to a point where I am soothed and relaxed in body and mood, but not always mood according to health professionals, family and friends: which is why they prefer my not drinking beer.
Basically, I think that the doctor who told me that I self-medicate with beer is correct. I need beer to relax my muscles and slow down my mind flooded with thoughts of bad memories.
I have a friend with a metal plate in his body from a war injury whom I think also self-medicates with alcohol, in his case.
Beer is an age old elixir which soothes and relaxes some and sends others into tirades. I am more often in "tirades" when I don't drink and my mind is flooded with racing thoughts of bad memories making it so I cannot sleep at night and contemplating suicide. I do not contemplate "suicide" nearly as much when I drink beer.
Lastly, beer quenches my thirst, my suffering from polydipsia.
Last night was a case in point. I paced the apartment for five minutes with racing thoughts about stressful events past and present thinking to commit suicide and not being able to fall asleep until I forced myself to lie down and then pray anything, but pray. I finally fell asleep after midnight beside my sleeping wife and dog in bed.
It has been three days without a beer this time and I can attest to the fact that stopping drinking no matter for three years, fourteen months or other attempts to stop (at behest of health professionals, family and friends) always ensues with "racing" thoughts and a flooded mind full of bad memories.
Beer numbs me to a point where I am soothed and relaxed in body and mood, but not always mood according to health professionals, family and friends: which is why they prefer my not drinking beer.
Basically, I think that the doctor who told me that I self-medicate with beer is correct. I need beer to relax my muscles and slow down my mind flooded with thoughts of bad memories.
I have a friend with a metal plate in his body from a war injury whom I think also self-medicates with alcohol, in his case.
Beer is an age old elixir which soothes and relaxes some and sends others into tirades. I am more often in "tirades" when I don't drink and my mind is flooded with racing thoughts of bad memories making it so I cannot sleep at night and contemplating suicide. I do not contemplate "suicide" nearly as much when I drink beer.
Lastly, beer quenches my thirst, my suffering from polydipsia.
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