"Split Tale:"

I heard a story about a bull moose that wanted to fuck my friend's grandpa.

My friend says that his grandpa is at camp: there's a bull moose rutting a cow moose and the cow is resisting, from grandpa's perspective in the cabin window looking outside.

So, grandpa would have none of this bull-moose practically ass raping some cow around his camp.

He steps out of his camp door with some kind of gun (a pistol): not anything to kill a bull moose. He tries to scare the bull-moose off.

Grandpa is in the dooryard of the forested campsite miles from anywhere with the pistol confronting the rutting, bull-moose and he fires into the ground.

Of course, the end result is that the bull-moose wants to fuck grandpa.  Grandpa is quartered in his camp cabin for two days with the bull-moose circling the site.

Grandpa calls the game wardens: but the wardens are busy, dispatch says.

Grandpa keeps at it with dispatch.  He says that the bull moose has been circling the camp site for two days and he can't go outdoors.  

(When asked: he explains to the warden's dispatch that he is not fucked up on any # of things).

A warden arrives in a truck and the bull-moose is in the dooryard of the camp site. 

The warden yells: "Just shoot him!"

(Grandpa had thought to scare it off with the pistol he had. That didn't happen).

Grandpa explains to the warden yelling from a camp window to the warden in a truck what happened: how the bull moose just wanted to fuck the grandpa now and that he didn't want to kill it. 

(In season: another story).

The warden shoots beanbags at the bull-moose, which winds the moose and the moose trots off into the surrounding forests probably looking for his cow after two days of circling grandpa at camp.

Ya think grandpa wanted to fuck the moose cow!?